“It would have been easy for me to feel alone”
Changed by Jesus #55
By Emily Kesling, Ballard campus
Peace Interrupted & Restored
I was raised in a Christian home, so from an early age I was exposed to the message of the gospel. When I was young my life was very happy, and I never felt the need to strongly consider my faith.
My entire world shattered when I was in 8th grade and my father died. Those weeks and months following that event were the most traumatic in my life, but it was also in that time when I first felt the comforting hand of God upon me.
It would have been easy for me to feel alone, but I didn’t. I called on God, and his Holy Spirit. In John 14, Jesus promises that he will not leave us as orphans, but that the Father will send us a comforter in his name. Believing in that promise, I called on the Holy Spirit and did feel God’s comfort, love, and peace.
Good Behavior Not Good Enough
It was only after my father’s death that I would say I truly became a Christian, but the next few years were still a constant struggle for me. I spent my high school years trying to integrate Christian principles into my life rather than submitting to Jesus and asking him to give me a new heart.
My friends in high school were not Christians, so I avoided expressing my faith to avoid confrontation with them. Scared of what they would think if I shared my faith, I was more concerned with pleasing man than pleasing God. It was when I first came to college that I began to feel God changing my desires.
What About My Needs?
My decision to attend the University of Washington had been a very hard one because I had wanted to go to a much more expensive private school. I remember crying and praying for God to deliver me, to provide a miracle so that I could follow my dreams. I was totally crushed with where God had put me; if he wanted me to go to school at the UW, I felt certain that my plan for my life was better than his.
Of course, I was wrong. God has used my experiences as a student at UW to grow my faith in ways I couldn’t have imagined. My freshmen year I became involved with Campus Crusade for Christ and began attending Mars Hill regularly—as well as being blessed with several strong Christian friends.
God had the best plan for me in mind all along, and it was only God’s infinite mercy and goodness which protected me from following my own desires; it scares me to consider where I would be now if my life had followed my will instead of his.
New Desires
This fall I will be a junior. Looking back, I can see so much that God has taught me and the paths onto which he has led me. On Easter I was baptized at the Ballard campus so that I could publicly proclaim the grace God has given and the changes he has made in me.
God has transformed my heart and given me new desires. Now, above all else, I wish to live a life that is pleasing to him. My desire is for every aspect of my life to reflect Jesus and the grace, goodness, and mercy I have received through him.
What’s Your Story?
