“I was invited to attend Mars Hill and absolutely hated it.”
Changed By Jesus #54
By Ren Minutola, Ballard campus
Mad at God
Before I met Jesus I was a very angry, selfish person.
My parents divorced when I was 2, and when I was 5, my younger brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He spent a lot of time in the hospital, and because of this, my parents had to spend most of their time with him and I did not get much of their attention. My sister was born when I was 7 and had water on her brain, which caused a lot of disabilities, so she too was in and out of the hospital.
I was mad at God for giving me such a hard childhood and for not protecting me from the pain and suffering I experienced. Attending Catholic school for 13 years taught me a lot about God, but I felt that He gave up on me.
The final straw came when I was 16 and a nun told me that I was not recognized in the eyes of God because my parents divorced and received an annulment. I suffered serious depression, had violent mood swings, used drugs, alcohol, and basically lost all respect for myself.
But one day God changed my heart.
Broken Before God
It had been so long since I had been open to hearing God’s voice that I did not recognize it. I was invited to attend Mars Hill and absolutely hated it. I could never pinpoint what I didn’t like about it, but I didn’t want to go back. But God continued to pursue me and I eventually returned and gradually began to accept that it wasn’t as bad as I wanted it to be.
During The Peasant Princess series there was a sermon about forgiveness. I felt Jesus holding my hand during that sermon and He encouraged me to let it all go. I sat and sobbed in the back of Mars Hill during the entire sermon as each word felt as if it was directed towards me and what Jesus was calling me to do.
That night I was saved by Jesus and was able to let go of all the anger and hurt I had been harboring for so many years.
Found in God
Through all of this I have gained a much better understanding of God as my Father. I had always viewed God as just an exaggerated version of my dad; I thought He’d abandoned me too, but He didn’t. I’d also felt like God was the one to blame for my siblings and their bad health. He wasn’t.
I have begun reading the Bible, started the membership process at Mars Hill, joined a community group, and, with God’s help, begun to live a life that I feel Jesus wants me to live.
Because of Jesus, I have patience and a confidence that I have never experienced before. I am not ashamed of who I am because my identity is in Jesus; He has given me a new heart. I have learned that He’s not the one who causes bad stuff; He’s the one that walks with you through it all.
What’s Your Story?
